lol smiley face

ok so that title was super GAY. idk first thing that came to mind. anyways. since i've decided to stay faithful to both of my blog sites, i guess i'll update this one as well. but forreal, tumblr, get on it. blogspot, i keep for the sake of the fans. haha pshh, yeah right. anyways.. quick list of today's series of events. woke up late like always, skip 8am stats class, purple tables, bio & aas, shops @ school, they sell pipes wtf?, no lupe, interesting car ride home (???), nals and pat, keeping up with the kardashians, trip to the moon, munchie alert, house, long nap, landed back on planet earth, quick hang with an old friend, now here, moving these little phalanges typing this blogg. so that's basically what i put on my tumblr. so if you're a fan of both i'm sorry if you feel like you're reading the same shit. well i'll change this one up a bit. hmm. i'll have different random thought. asshole. i wonder if, just maybe, hmm... if only.. no.. never.. idk. but really what if.. dang we'll just have to see. the attack of the vibrating phone ahh! house. he's a pretty sick guy. i'm parched, someone get me some fruit juice. soda es no bueno. and so isn't corn beef. ew. i exploded. ERIKA. come back into my life. magazines need to leave my bed. annoying popping sound from my FB. no call/text. i wonder how long this will last. i'm ready for whatever comes my way. toilet paper. semi clean room. where'd my radio go??? my mom is curious george and she works for the cia i swear. questioning like there's no tomorrow. yes mother, i smoke weed. wooop di doo da day. oops. i wonder if if can put that up on here. oops too late. no backspacing. eeks. im tempted to delete. but fuuck i just wrote all about it. too late now. moving own, my phalanges won't stop typing. i must reply to my FB chats, IM's and text. ahh help me! blogging has taken over my life! but its the only thing keeping me sane at the moment. "do it all, just stand up" idk if that's even the right lyrics. oh gah 1-630 gross. even more gross. 4 page rough draft paper due in 8 hrs. must get on that. ok i need to stop. i'll leave yah with this.. and i will leave every blog with this just to let all of you out there know..

today is just one of those days.. in the life of resa..
until tomorrow. or whenever blogging decides to take over again.
ah! insomnia.
k bye!

realization

wowza, i just realized that i haven't blogged on this for a whole two months. craaazy. tumblr took over. sorry. but i'll still stay faithful to my blogspot. but dangg. i just re read all of my old blogs. and some of them are sounding exactly the same as my blogs today. hmm. i need change in my life. and with a quickness please. see yah!

i wonder.. who actually reads my blogspot or even my tumblr?
i get surprised sometimes when people say "i read your blog!"
hmm... who are my lovely stalkers...
no need to feel ashamed. i think it's cool.

then again, i could be talking to myself right now..
and absolutely NO ONE reads my shiiiiiiz. k bye forreal.

tumblr. get on it.

resag.tumblr.com

maybe i'll post some blogs on this still, we'll see.

one word

GOODBYE!

ugh

why do i give a fuck so much, obviously it's not being reciprocated, this is super irritating, and maybe i just need stop before it gets too much. i'm so drained from EVERYTHING. this is taking so much energy from me. i gave up and passed up so much and i get nothing out of it. i'm just tired and uninspired. i feel like this is going no where, and we're standing on a thin rope, it's either we both try to hold on together, or we fall. and i feel like we're on the verge of falling. ughhhhhhhhh, goodbye. and this whole family thing is really getting to me.

inspired

well someone inspired to post a new blog. i haven't blogged in a really long time. i started a tumblr and maybe that's why i never go on this. well a lot has been going on this past month that i haven't blogged. i dont know where to start. ok, well i'm officially in college now, and it feels good. i love it ALOT. eveerything is pretty chill, it's really on the student to stay on top of their shit. and guess what? i fucked up already, twice! i got a 67.5% on my first midterm, and i procrastinated to take an online quiz, and it closed on me -__- fml. well hopefully i figure something outt. i need to stay on top of my shit or else GMA scholarship is outt the window. hmm, what else.. welll i just turned 18! finally legal, sheesh. i did a whole four day celebration. well more like 3 1/2. wednesday dinner thursday attempted club friday house partay saturday tellay. it was tons of fun. my friends from LA came up to celebrate with me. i barely spent time with them unfortunately. i only saw them at night. well that whole situation should be in a whole new blog. that whole birthday weekend needs to be in a different blog. it was cuuuuhrazzzy. anyways, my life is super duper complicated right now. idk what to do. it goes up, and then it goes down and then back around. im in such a confusing and complicated situation and i just want to get to the bottom of it all. i just need to be patient, and that's what i have been for 2 months already. mann.. whatevv. lets just say this is really causing broken hearts and i'm not just talking about mines ): well i am currently on the MAC as always, eating my bagel. today? idk. i need to finish a project with rose that's due tomorrow! and idk if john is still coming over to do his paper. and i still need to finish my 750 piece puzzle with jorsen baysac. today is such a nice day, hopefully i dont get called in for work. EFF work, making me take out my nose ring and shiiiz, no way jose, idk what i'm going to do. ahhh! heat wave, love it and hate it. kk see yah!!

his song

Resa Weessa,
never mean, real nice
made out of everything yummy, brown sugar, and spice
she says " im trying to get that education"
so she can get a good paying occupation
save a little loot for a nice vacation
she got right to it,
time is one thing she won't be wastin'
excuse me cute miss, would you please come with me?
SEE, you and i can be eachothers company.
ahh yes, that would be sublime
but for now im making chess moves,
taking it one day at a time
yes, the distance between is balistic
but to me, it doesn't seem to make a difference
miss, you got me feeling like a bird
tho im just a nerd.
some poetry may be good therapy
violets are blue
and i'll be too..
if you leave cause i just met you (:

COD

so i reallly don't get how to play call of duty. i get so frustrated everytime i try, lol. the boys play it like everyday and all i do is go on my lappy or fall asleep. this week was a pretty funn week. i went to the city 3 times this week. first time i met up with thee nemo, we went shopping and had sushi (: second time i went with alllll of my cousins, we had a feast at mcdonalds(i've been having it for 11 days in a row, but the chain is broken, finally) and we went to the opera house. third day was today. i went to the markets at glebe & paddington. they had heaps(hella in australian lingo) cuute stuff. gah, australian girls dress super nice. i bought a leather jacket and a cute purse. ive been spending alot of time with my cousins. they're so much funn. we went to paramatta(mall) last week and we ate sushi and max brenner(best belgian waffles w. choco) it was amazing. oooh yeah, and i also got a haircut, my hair looks healthier, AND i got my nose pierced! haha. my mom was right next to me. she watched the whole thing. my eyes were closed. it didnt hurt though. so now i have semi short hair and a nose studd (: i wanna switch it to the hoop though. hmm.. what else.. i was supposed to get chinese food with nemo today, but i ended up not going with him.. idk.. hmm, well tmo is sunday and i want to go to hillsong, best church ever, seriously.. kk, welll its almost dinner time and were eating dinner at home for a change. seeee yah later haters! like anybody reads this anywayss...

idk, seriously.

im super duper homesick, but a part of me doesn't want to go home. i don't want to face whatever is at home. this sucks. a part of me just wants to be away forever. conference had me thinking about ALOT. about life and what to do with it. but i seriously don't know what to do. maybe i just need more time away from home to get me really thinking. why do girls want what they can't have? i have something here that i know will be absolutely great for me in the long run, but stupid me i want what i don't completely have. i'm always in this situation. wellll, my mom's in australia now, and what i want to type down is not coming to me at the moment. so i'll have to get back at yah. 

its over

mannn, conference is over already. i had tons of funnn. it went by super duper fast. JAM and the night rallies were all very amazing and this whole week was another eye opener for me. gah, i do this every year. i get soo much out of conference, but once i get home, i don't really put it into action as much. i wish all my friends & family can experience hillsong conference. you get so much out of it. and you meet some of the most amazing and kindest people in the world. volunteering this year and not actually being a delegate was a whole new experience. i didnt really "volunteer" though. haha. my pass got me in anywhere and i got free meals everyday and i got a really cute shirt. haha. i got to meet up with my friend that i havent seen in a whole year. AND he let me borrow his sidekick while im down here. wellll. im currently at my cousins house and we are having our traditional sleepover after conference. im super tired thoughhh. im just trying to finish up this blog. oh man, im super full tooo. i had so much food this weeek. freee meals, mc donalds, apple pies & soft serves. i ate like all the time this week. mann, i need to start exercising when i get back. its only been a weeek and i miss my mom, my girls, and some other fool, jm (; i havent talked to my mom ever since ive been here. i miss her sooooo much. i wish she was here with me. gah, i need to shop. i want to buy a beanie and a new bag. the girls and guys here, especially people from hillsong are so fashionable and the way they dress is so hott. haha. i was surrounded by so many good looking people this week, lol. well im going to start watching borat now, i think this blog is getting too long. ttyl!

finallllly

so i finallly made it to australia. it is about 1130 in the afternoon. i got here at around 630am. there were tons of people at the airport, but i found my cousins thru the crowd. all ive done so far is eat hot dogs, and now im super full, and watch them play call of duty. i reallly dont get how to play it. haha. so much things going on. lol. welll im super excited for my stay here. i cant wait for conference. its going to be soo much funn. gahh its super coldd here. im getting the chills. haha. welll im going to tweet more cuus iuuuno what else to do. ahh, im about to eat a popsicle and its freezinggg. haha.

australian getaway

wellll in a couple of hours i will hopefully be on a plane to the best place in the worldd, Australia. i cant wait to see my favorite boys. this will be my official getaway from everything. im super duper excited, for conference, our sleepovers, city adventures and everythinggg. i hope this time i get to hang out with this really awesome guy, if he's still willing to hanggg. haha. mann, so this weeek went by fasttt, thank God. so much has been going on. ahhh, super out of no where. but he thats how life is. it surprises you when you least expect it. im just doing my own thing, and looking foward and not backk. anywaysss.. so lately i havent been having much of an appetite. and if i do eat something, i get full easily. i hope my eating habbits stay this way. haha. cuus now i dont crave fast food. oooh mann. conference week, i'll be eating soo much fast food. guuuhreat. haha. mann. im going to miss my girls. they are theee bestttt. i hope they dont have too much funn without me. what else.. hmm.. i went to the city with matt the other day. it was soo much funn. i watched him shop. all i bought was a friendship bracelet with him. haha. it took my mind off of alot of stuff. we watched my sisters keeper. it was soo sadd. it hella made me realize that there are bigger problems outt there and i cant really dwell on mines cus people have it harder than me. thats why im in such a positive attitude right now. haha. not really worrying about anything. haha. ooh mann, and last tuesday i went to this hollister/abercrombie casting ccall. it was intense, all i did was get interviewed and took pictures. its a possibility that i can be on the huge posters and bags, haha. too badd im going against thousands of beautiful tall blonde/brunette skinny biotches, lol.. hmmm.. welll i think i should go take some laps around my neighborhood. i've gotta stay in shape. no more cheer or dance to keep me fittt. kk. wellll probably the next time i'm going to update this is in australia, yay yay yay!

lesson learned

i dont regret what i had, i think of it as an experience that i can learn from. i guess this is it. the end of something that i thought was good. but hey! everything happens for a reason. its still the beginning of my summer. i just need to take some time to heal, and i'll be good. im still young, and im about to be a freshmen in college. my moms right, they come and go. im glad i have my girls here to reassure me that everythings going to be ok. i know its going to be hard to let go. it breaks my heart to say goodbye, but its for the best. im still jumping into things. im still here, sitting and waiting to see what will happen next. new chapter? im done with chapter one. unfortunately... i need to be the strong independant girl that i was before all of this. if i can handle being on my own for so long before this, i can definitely handle being on my own again. its going to take some time to get used to it.. but things happen.. i can't complain as much as it sucks to let go of the one you gave your everything to..

LETDOWN

I got those lovesick blues
I feel it more than ever
Sinking in my chest like a ship in the blue, do do dodo
She was a drug I abused
I feel a rising fever
Shaking in my sleep left me broken and bruised, do do dodo

She said "you're just a let down,
Another one of my mistakes,
I never loved you anyway,
I never did and I never will..."
She said "you're just a let down,
All your friends,
They feel the same,
I never loved you anyway,
I never did and I never will"

basically.. ):

im really stuck in a sticky situation. i feel like an idiot and i dont know how to react or respond. im just lost right now. i have no idea what to do. do i just let go? its going to be hard for me. but sometimes letting go is whats best. this may be the end of the road. unfortunately. i just have one word, karma, i definitely believe in it. this sucks. caring for someone so much that it hurts. my heart really aches.. i just need to give a few days i guess.. let it all blow over.. australia is like a bittersweet escape for me. i dont know if i should leave or not. i dont want to regret it though. do i leave all my problems behind me and just leave? or do i stay having faith that it will all get better, but then again, what if i stay and it gets worse? then i just regret not leaving.. i reallly dont know what to do, like at all. i feel super clueless, stupid, dumb and an idiot. lying to myself these past few months, it really sucks.. i guess my moms right like always, they come and go so dont settle for anything.. sucks that i put all my faith in this and then i get disappointed.. but HEY! im getting carried away.. maybe this will all get better.. i really dont know at this point.. i'll just have to sit and wait.. maybe theres still gas left in our car. and we'll just keep going down this road.

Summer is a definite Bummer.

So its finally summer and it hasn't been all that great. This summer is supposed to be the ultimate summer. Hmm, all i've been doing is work, visiting cheer practice, some parties here and there, hanging out with my girls and my bf, but other than that, its been stay at home days for me. SUCKS. And what sucks even more is that my bf and I are car-less. At least he has a license, i still need to get mines. So its been hard, but we've been dealing with it i guess. Mann this song by Coco B's is really stuck in my head, Modern Lover, check it outt. Hmm, well on the bright side... i have my SFstate orientation this wednesday. Im super excited. My grandmama just paid $2084 for my first semester tuition. I better do good and make her proud. $2084 is no joke. Also, this saturday is warped tour!!! Finallly, ive been waiting for this for soo long. Hopefully Rbonney comes in time. She's thee best. Mann, i need to go down to LA soon. I miss my cousins, pinkberry, and shopping. OOH yeahh, im leaving for australia pretty sooon. I'm super excited. I plan there to be down under for about 3 weeks. Im excited to see my cousins, the best boys ever, and for the conference. Ahh! This is going to be a whole new experience for me, im volunteering this time. I can't waittt. Before i leave, i have this casting call for Hollister. I have no idea on what im going to be doing but its me and like 2 other girls going. Its going to be funn. I've been getting pretty close to my Hollister co workers. I've been hanging outt with these two fools Josh and Kris. They're pretty cool. Gahh, now that i've graduated... i don't feel any different. Maybe my first day in college, i'll then realize that im done with highschool for life. Haha, welll i have nothing else to blog aboutt so i'm going to go back to my stay at home monday. ERIKA and RESA sleep over tmoo! Watch out for our new vid blog coming out soon. I know everyone missed em, and don't worry James Andrews, you'll be in one sometime.. hehe.. BYE!

L I F E

well i haven't updated this in a while, so a lot has been going on. last weekend was senior ball. it was perfect. my date was fun, and i had a great time. the after prom was funn too. me and my girls got a loft type of room at the residents inn foster city. the room was huge, and it was next to kc's. i got prettty messed up, but i don't care. it was MY senior ball so i don't care if other people talk smack. the morning after was not soo good. i woke up with a tummy and head ache. i didn't feel like eating at all. but my bf kept forcing me to drink water, which i must say helped a lot. after that, john and i ate at wingstop. yummm, im craving some right now actually. hehe. then that following monday was senior cut day. it was a lot of fun. i woke up late, but i still made it in time for a huge bbq. there were so many people there, it was amazing, hehe. and last week was dance show week as well. i can't believe its over. i'm going to miss dance a lot. i never thought that i would care so much about it, especially since i was just in dance one last year. advanced dance is something i'll never forget. it was one of the best experiences of my high school career. after dance show, it was relay for life, which is my senior project. a 24 hour relay. so worth it. i had a really cool senior project. im glad i did it. the sleeping over was fun. especially since the relay happened on a really hot weekend. after relay for life, my mom and i took my ate mitchelle to the city. we went shopping and ate at cheesecake factory. its non stop shopping for me, i swear. its a really bad yet good habit of mine. i didn't get shopaholic for no reason. hehe. now its monday, and i didn't go to school. i was too lazy. i'm still working on my portfolio and presentation for senior project. once i'm done with this. i'm done with highschool! yaaaay! 2 and half more weeks left. its super bittersweet. i'm going to miss my highshool life. it was a huge part of me. but now its time for me to grow up and go out into the real world. the world of a college student. i need to become more independent. i'm so excited for the life after highschool. i still don't know where i'm going to go. most likely SFstate, gah, even though i don't want to. welll, its time for me to start on my senior project shat, hopefully i'll update soon, not like anyone reads this shit. 

FML.

gahh, this is super gay. i didn't end my night good, well, not quite. i got to catch up with my long lost bff. i miss him. dangg, senior ball bids are now on sale, and i still don't have a date. i have a dress, but now im dateless, i might not end up going. this sucks. this isn't how i pictured my senior ball. grr...

welll i have to finish this stupid research paper that's due tomorrow. grr, i need to stop procastinating. ooh well, senior year is almost over. and im super excited.

PS.
SFstate, CSUNorthridge, or PasadenaCityCollege?
decisions, decisions, decisions.